Malignant Narcissistic Sociopath Survival Letter

Your lies seep through me,
Deafening me to no end.
Doubting you was baffling,
But you knew I'd believe your act.

You must have no soul,
To be able to twist my insides,
Until I scream begging you to stop.
You're a monster,
Chewing at my mind,
Manipulating my thoughts.

You dare to tell me stories,
Bending your truths until they snap.
Using my own kindness against me,
Taking my forgiveness to your advantage.

Falling,
I reach for you in desperation,
But you let me slip through your grasp,
And you turned away and never looked back. Written by a Narcissistic Survivor! (not me, yet)

John wrote "a good woman" on my birthday, that should have awaken me to his Malignant Narcissistic Sociopath Behavior!
Here is a letter, John Telford will never understand, but felt good to write: Because I am a SURVIVOR!

Shocked & dismayed by his behavior. He never knew the word "Love". He took marriage & made it his personal circus. He took my self worth, respect & dignity, as apart of his fanatic entourage. Only after realizing just how much, affections were nothing more than Co-dependency to his MISOGYNIST MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH BEHAVIOR, I found the courage to stop the abuse. Now, I no longer exist to him. He has used the charm of language, with elegant words to persuasively flaunt his self confidence, & destroy me verbally & emotionally. I congratulate him on his manipulative ability to see his self serving behavior as permissible. I realize I was an instrument, to be used, dominated & now humiliated & discarded. He crave adulation with his own fantasies, & convince others to believe in him, as did I. He wants to be the fighter for human rights & as the expert consultant, board president, & spokesperson for God. Therefore his powers & abilities are extremely convincing & pathologically consistent to change to his favor. How else could he tell me "I'm crazy, I need a shrink, I’m bi polar” etc.
He lacks remorse to see anyone as an human being. I was an opportunity he wanted to control, dominate, & own. He has disregarded me without guilt, 7 years of life. He was not genuine & his shallow emotions are a facade I once believed in.
He can only imitate the incapacity to feel a heart, I feel a spiritual rape for the contempt he has callously abused with my trust. He believe himself to be all knowing & entitled to every wish with no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for the impact of pain inflected on me & my son. I'm positive his current accomplices & associates see him as the perfect educator. Yet he has maliciously & without empathy, wreak havoc in my personal private life. He is oblivious to the devastation  given me, just as he has placed the blame on our marriage, due to my lack of obedience to serve him before God! He made promises for our future, but now he has relocated & changed to the image of a man I trusted, but never knew.
As usual, instead of facing reality, he will continue to perceive that nothing is wrong with him, & since he is incapable of real human attachment, I find myself at a loss realizing I have lived a nightmare which will follow me all the days of my life. For I cannot detach this pain which was to come when "Death do us part". But like a memory, this will pass.
I pray to God (not you), that God sees the truth & rewards well.
Anyone in a relationship with him, will just have to figure it out. He
speaks much, but it lacks Truth & Reality. He has exaggerated much in his book & that is why all the names named, are not thanking him. Just as he sabotaged being the superintend of Madison Schools, he couldn't do the job, so he distracted them with the race card to get fired, then he could boast about it as another feather in his cap for human rights.

He is a vile deceiver, I've had my funeral & am moving on.
I leave him with the words he once printed in one of his many articles:
"Look at what I've done for black people, I even married one of them". May God bless you all.